*Forewarning: you may disagree with my definitions of “film” and “movie.” Any offense on your part was not intended but will probably amuse me.*

I like movies. I don’t mean I like films (although I like those, too.) I mean I like movies.

I like my dramas tear-jerking and my comedies slap-stick. I like my action movies explosive and my chick flicks hopelessly unrealistic. After all, entertainment is supposed to be a diversion; an “agreeable occupation for the mind.”  Escapism.

And yet…escapism isn’t my strong suit. Critical thinking, analyzing, assigning meaning – these are the skills I’m best at, the aptitudes I honed in college. And that’s why movies are greater than films for me. Films often have an agenda. The symbolism is intentional and well-crafted, and I can appreciate that. Conversely, the metaphors found in movies aren’t always intentional. They are open to interpretation, rarely will the majority see eye-to-eye on what the symbols mean, if they even see analogies at all. We see what we want to see, sometimes what we need to see. I love discussing it; it only goes sour when the interpreter/viewee tries to put their words in the movie-makers’ mouths.

So let’s talk about my favorite movies for metaphor-seeking. The Matrix. Independence Day. Terminator. The Green Lantern. The Avengers. Movies which could only be accused of one, united agenda. Movies that prove, that SHOUT, that humanity is worth saving. Worth fighting for. Even in The Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring, which isn’t set on earth, where men are the least exciting and noble characters present, our worth is embraced and felt in the moment between Aragorn and Boromir as Boromir dies. (Click for the clip!)

This acknowledgment of the worth of the human race is no hidden agenda. It’s not hard to miss. It’s done often. Yet every.single.time. I am steamrolled with conviction, drowned in passion, swept up in the fight with the characters on screen. Not only because I follow the formula for entertainment laid out by Hollywood, but because of the aforementioned conviction. The human race is worth fighting for and yet I do not fight for it.

“Relax, silly girl! We’re not under attack from blood thirsty alien invaders!” you may be saying. After all, it’s the tangible threat of impending doom that makes us all cheer when the good guys win on the silver screen.

Here’s the thing, though, readers. The human race *is* in grave and irreparable danger. I am aware of this, yet it often takes obnoxiously obvious movies for me to truly realize it and feel motivated to do something about it. We may not have Loki and his army invading, but we do have ever-present spiritual warfare. We may not be in the grips of the Matrix, but many of us are just as stuck in the grips of poverty. Just look at these stats from my neighborhood – scroll all the way through. Keep in mind my town is ranked as one of the richest metros in the nation, among other lucrative listings. Regardless of whether you share my spiritual convictions, you cannot deny the level and prevalence of suffering and need amongst our neighbors. Yet what do we do about it? Why aren’t we more like Neo, going into the world where those trapped are held, fighting against the forces that be, longing to bring our fellow man to the same level of freedom we’ve found? Why aren’t we more like the Avengers, using our gifts, our time, our money, our physical energy to preserve the world around us?

For those who do share my spiritual convictions, we better be meeting the physical needs of our neighbors. No excuses. But we should certainly also be aware of the spiritual needs, because those are universal, regardless of physical status. It’s easy to forget about it – we can’t see spiritual states with our eyes. It’s also easy to shove it under the rug; it’s a controversial topic. And even those of us who are purposefully aware of spiritual statuses seem to have followed the pattern of Men in Black. Instead of fighting danger, we regulate it. We slap a new face on it, rename it, try to control it, and ultimately pretend it isn’t there.

I’m grateful for Hollywood’s big-budget alien/superhero/AI/apocalyptic movies, because they remind me of the actual state of things. Even if I’m the only one who (often in spite of myself) sees aliens and artificial intelligence as personally applicable metaphors for demons and poverty, I’m grateful. They remind me of what I believe; and I believe that saving the human race is a an urgent and worthwhile endeavor. I’m not perfect. I’m actually quite selfish, so I will likely need these consistant reminders that the world at large, that people as a whole, need me more than I do.

I’m going to close with a quote from Hal Jordan in The Green Lantern that’s delivered with a level of passion I aim to echo in my fight: ”You know, we have a saying on earth. We say: “I’m only human.” We say it because we’re vulnerable, we say it because we know we’re afraid, but it doesn’t mean we’re weak. Help me save my planet. Don’t give in to fear. Fight it. Fight it with me.”

* * *

Rescue those being led away to death;
hold back those staggering toward slaughter.

Proverbs 24:11

“When Christianity says that God loves man, it means that God loves man: not that He has some ‘disinterested’, because really indifferent, concern for our welfare, but that, in awful and surprising truth, we are the objects of His love. You asked for a loving God: you have one. The great spirit you so lightly invoked, the ‘lord of terrible aspect’, is present: not a senile benevolence that drowsily wishes you to be happy in your own way, not the cold philanthropy of a conscientious magistrate, nor the care of a host who feels responsible for the comfort of his guests, but the consuming fire Himself, the Love that made the worlds, persistent as the artist’s love for his work and despotic as a man’s love for a dog, provident and venerable as a father’s love for a child, jealous, inexorable, exacting as love between the sexes. How this should be, I do not know: it passes reason to explain why any creatures, not to say creatures such as we, should have a value so prodigious in their Creator’s eyes.”

– From C.S. Lewis’s The Problem of Pain (Chapter: Divine Goodness) Read the full book online here.

This breaks me and builds me. This is why I live for Him, and why it’s not so easy. 

Waking up gradually after almost exactly eight hours of sleep. Waking up wrapped in my favorite, silky sheets and my love’s arms. Waking up with the sun gently streaming in through lightly rustling curtains and turning our pale yellow walls into warm gold. Stretch. Yawn. Smooch. Get out of cozy bed. A slight shiver as bare feet hit the chilled, smooth hardwood. A wave of cool, fresh air hits me as I walk into the living room. Even now it wafts over me; and as redundant as it may be, the words “cool” and “fresh” are the best words for it. Air so sweet the smell and taste of it soothe and enliven all at one go. Soft bird song, a gentle whoosh of an occasional car driving by, and a large and clumsy dump truck lull me back to my sleepy state and then jerk me back awake. A day ahead with time for everything it needs to hold and then some. Peaceful. Still. Grateful. Infinitely content. 

Peaceful and content are two things I didn’t think I’d be sans-sugar, something I’ve already hit on as I’ve updated you on my little journey. But they are two things that have stuck with me, and I’m now on the other side of the fence. I thought I’d be greedily counting the days until I could sink my teeth into a cupcake, but the halfway point flew by before I knew it! That’s gotta be a good sign. So how’s it been going since last time I posted? Pretty good, but not without a hiccup.

You see, I cheated. Kind of. Mother’s Day was last Sunday (as hopefully you all know and celebrated.) Mike and I hadn’t really made plans until the day before, and when we did we decided to go to his parents’. I knew dessert would be a part of the meal, unless we went out to eat. I didn’t think they knew we were doing this whole sweets-break, and also didn’t think they’d understand it even if they did. So, I kept my fingers crossed that we’d be restaurant-bound and didn’t worry. Turns out, dinner was at their home, and not only was their dessert, Mom H had gone through the effort of seeking a completely dairy-free dessert option for me with the Hy-Vee bakers. I’ve already flown over the hurdle of saying no even if it felt impolite this month, but it’s different when it’s family. Especially when it’s in-laws. So I thanked her and then quickly asked Mike (who is being super awesome and doing this challenge with me) what we should do. In the end, we decided to partake. Mom H had gotten me a piece of baklava which A) wasn’t very large and B) consists of ingredients I would and have eaten during this challenge seperately, so what difference should it make that they are assembled and called a dessert? Unsweetened phyllo dough, were it topped with veggies, would be acceptable. Pecans and almonds? Acceptable. Honey? I use it in cooking frequently, as it’s a natural sugar and great counterpart to my spicy eats. So, if I was going to cave, it was actually the perfect way to do so. It was ingredients I’m okay with, and it kept the peace. That’s worth a lot.

Other than that, the only incidents have come to me in dreams. Tuesday night I dreamed so vividly that I was eating scads of m&ms that I woke up and had to seriously dedicate some thought time to whether or not I actually had. My dream wasn’t just cut to me shoveling chocolate candy, fade to black. It was a discussion at my mom’s house, where we were eating them, because m&ms don’t count as desserts, sugar, or calories in general. I was actually putting a ladle-ful on a dinner plate next to meatloaf and mashed potatoes, because OF COURSE they are part of a well-rounded diet. My conscious life has been 98% craving free, but my subconscious life sure seems to differ.

Cravings or not, I won’t be caving. A mere 10 days from today is my built-in cheat day (Prelimenary congrats to Linda & Ethan!!), and only a few more after that until my experiment ends. Here’s hoping I’m not jinxing us, but the Mister and I have already learned that sweets do not need to be an every day thing. After May, they’ll be back to special occasions. Special occasion sweets bring more than that sugar buzz we all take for granted; they bring back a childlike sense of anticipation, a greater palate for recognizing what we’re eating, and a greater awareness of the physiological effects of massive amounts of sugar.

For those of you wondering why I’m doing this: http://emilysparkles.com/2012/05/sweet-maycation/